Last week I did a Facebook Live video where I shared the raw and real truth that I was suffering from comparitis (my word for comparing myself to others).
I have been keeping myself motivated by watching videos of others sharing their stories of how, even during a crisis, they have been able to strengthen and grow their business. Although I thought it was motivating me, I realized it really was doing the opposite and de-motivating me in a way. It wasn’t until I shared this thought with some colleagues that I began to think about things differently. Here is what I learned:
Lesson #1 – You cannot compare your inside with other peoples’ outside.
People tend to share the good … think about that for a minute. Most people on social media are sharing what is great in their life; the launch of a new project, their proudest moments, the achievement of their goals. If we are not careful we can tend to say “I wish I had that” without really realizing everything that it took to achieve it (all the blood, sweat and tears).
Don’t get me wrong, I do realize people share bad news too, but for the most part, we would never say “I wish I could have that too” when it comes to bad things.
See when we do scroll through social media we can fall victim to comparing what is going on inside our head (the self doubt, the exhaustion, the worry) with what is being shared by others to the outside world. This is a mistake because I guarantee every person out there has moments very similar in their own head, even if just for a fleeting second … you are definitely not alone in that.
Lesson #2 – Everyone works at their own pace
We have all heard the term “overnight success” and one of my favourite sayings is “it took me years to become an overnight success.” See we only see the end result and quite often don’t know all the work it took to get there. You have absolutely no idea how much work someone is putting in unless you are there beside them 24 hours a day.
I needed to realize we all work at our own pace and as long as we are moving forward this is all the matters. Not all of us have the same ability or desire to work into the wee hours of the morning. Your body will tell you what works for you best. Taking steps forward towards our goals instead of standing still is the key to success. Everyone has a pace they are comfortable with that is directly dependent on their other obligations and roles in life (parent, sibling, child, contractor, client … the list goes on).
Lesson #3 – It All Comes Back to the Why
The best question I asked myself recently was why … why was I doing this? Why did I want this to happen? Why … I realized when I attached an emotional why to the outcome of my goals, it was then that I found my own motivation!
Lesson #4 – Self Accountability is the One Accountability that will always work
Although accountability is great and I myself love my accountability partners, the one person who can truly hold you accountable is you. Very few people will have the same drive for your vision and goals as you. Someone once shared with me recently that it all comes down to a choice. You can do it or you can decide not to do it. However, when you do not do what you say you will it decreases your self-esteem. Since, I believe self-esteem is directly correlated with comparitis what better way to stop then to begin to hold yourself self accountable to always doing what you say.
Lesson #5 – Never Forget About Self-Care
When self-care goes out the window, energy soon follows. You can only work on overdrive for so long. It is important to make sure you spend time daily in self-care; whatever that might mean for you.
What other lessons would you add? I would love you to share them in the comments below.